Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

Why is squid ink safe to eat, while skunk spray is not? What makes the two liquids different from each other?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

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Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Should we consider deporting democrats to Canada?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Do you think trump realizes that if he significantly decreases the size of CIA, that there is a higher chance of him being assassinated?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why have cell phones, the internet, and reality TV turned the world into a toilet, as this has not advanced us in any way?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What are the best self-care practices to improve mental health?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can count

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When do you feel most peaceful ever?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What does it mean to dream about demons possessing people, and what can be done about this dream that keeps occurring for years?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do I sweat a great deal while exercising the same on some days and not so much on others?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

How do I become an intelligent man?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.